We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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