I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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