I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
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