My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
