You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
