i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
So vagazzling was a success
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
