i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
i dont even know how to be here
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I am available for nakedness
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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