I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
