It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
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So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
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I want to be your penis for a week.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
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