i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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