just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize