Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
