my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
