I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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