he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I need to calm my uterus...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
