what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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