dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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