She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
