No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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