If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i think we sleep fucked last night...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
