chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
