i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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