Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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