I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
