My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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