Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
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