you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
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