I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Randomize
