Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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