I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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