Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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