At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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