I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
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