That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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