I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
