you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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