we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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