We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
