Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
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When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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