So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
