My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
this just has baby written all over it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
