Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
