I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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