More tranny stories later!
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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