I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I had to cum in my sink.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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