They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
