next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
