so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
