I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
