I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Randomize
