i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize