No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
pray to the hookup gods
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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