am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
