Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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