Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
