i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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