Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
