I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
