One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
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Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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